Here's Everything That's Broken On My Cheap BMW Alpina B7

26 feb 2020
644 434 Skatījumi

Check out my new merch with Inshane Designs!
Read my column on Autotrader here:
Follow me on Twitter!
Follow me on Facebook!
Dvorak Polka by Kevin MacLeod is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution license (

  • Consumable valve seals, rod bearings,bearings, etc.. You don't say.

    Jeffrey ChengJeffrey ChengPirms 4 dienām
  • Goddammit BMW what are fun people, ashamed to say how much money they spend and lost on this goddamn BMW? this company should bankruptcy E39 BMW have a hundred more issues it's made it deliberately BAD quality just to suck the money from the customer, Goddammit BMW company & BMW engineers

    Valerian PantsuliaValerian PantsuliaPirms 12 dienām
  • 3500? In germany alone the rims are worth 2k... So I think it's an extremly good price... And yes it's expensive to repair.

    Alex UlptsAlex UlptsPirms 18 dienām
  • How does he find these gems 💎😂

    Gazooo29Gazooo29Pirms 20 dienām
  • Would it not make more sense to take all of these shitheaps and employ one person to just strip them down and sell the parts online or wherever? Surely you could make a bit of money selling these overpriced plastic junk heaps piece by piece? Foe instance, what would a set of those lovely looking seats be worth? How much for the light clusters? Cylinder head? Crank? Gearbox? Axle? Hell, get some young kid that is interested in learning about cars, pay him a bit more than minimum wage and let him strip 'em and clean them up.

    Richard GrahamRichard GrahamPirms 25 dienām
  • Johnnys no dummy. Hes a bmw mechanic. Lol

    Ken HartyKen HartyPirms Mēneša
  • BMW: ultimate broken machine

    Maanav KhuranaMaanav KhuranaPirms 3 Mēnešiem
  • Much respect to my fellow automotive technician for his philanthropy. You my friend, make us look good. This is the second time I've seen him donate to St. Judes. Because of that, I too will make a donation to St Judes in rye very near future. Thank you kind sir.

    Andrew MAndrew MPirms 3 Mēnešiem
  • Alpine get it right.

    rivyboy76rivyboy76Pirms 4 Mēnešiem
  • You know this guy watched a lot of Top Gear. He flows just like Clarkson.

    GhostGhostPirms 5 Mēnešiem
  • If alpine made the engine themselves, that explains why its the only part of the car that still works 😂

    bednar23bednar23Pirms 5 Mēnešiem
  • I'll take the 2002 in the background, modern cars suck

    Michael HasseMichael HassePirms 5 Mēnešiem
  • 170,000 miles and only $5k of what appears to be clearly deferred maintenance?!?! This was a gift from the gods of automotive and a smoking (ahem) deal.

    Robert PassaroRobert PassaroPirms 5 Mēnešiem
  • Good deal great car but you pay for BMW no Volkswagen. BMW Alpina for this price it’s a cheap price for a great car

    Paulo RodriguesPaulo RodriguesPirms 6 Mēnešiem
  • I know I'm late now for the B7, but in the future you get a bad engine car like this, I'll be glad to take it and Fix it and Of Course Document it. Instead of sending it to go to waste at the Junkyard.

    PhigoDakiddPhigoDakiddPirms 6 Mēnešiem
  • Wish I could have seen this video a couple of years ago. I'd have never bought my 2007 335i and would have been spared much aggravation and financial loss.

    Wayne ThomasWayne ThomasPirms 6 Mēnešiem
  • I recently acquired one here in Belize doesn't start and is cosmetically terrible supposedly only needs 2 cam sensors from drivers bank due to harness caught fire but I just can't get the parts and it's so costly don't know what il do also weird this Alpina b7 doesn't have lots of stuff like yours does curious

    Yusei PietersYusei PietersPirms 7 Mēnešiem
  • Throw a LS7 in it, and be done with it.

    genoa49genoa49Pirms 7 Mēnešiem
  • Very very reasonable repair costs!! Your mechanic is legit!

    Anonymous AnonymousAnonymous AnonymousPirms 7 Mēnešiem
  • Ha! Schadenfreude😂

    Darth BaneDarth BanePirms 7 Mēnešiem
  • when is johnny going to launch his channel. would love to hear his thoughts and advice on all kinds of BMWs!

    russmanhirussmanhiPirms 7 Mēnešiem
  • What is the name of this shop Hoovie?

    okguy165okguy165Pirms 7 Mēnešiem
  • was the logic 7 amp the audio issue?

    Billy HBilly HPirms 8 Mēnešiem
  • Love bmw. But hate the cost of repairs. But best cars to drive. Right next to Mercedes 👍🇦🇺

    Jason griffoJason griffoPirms 8 Mēnešiem
  • I miss the Wizard

    Alan NormanAlan NormanPirms 8 Mēnešiem
  • Watching this with youtube closed mother keeps asking why he says "all penis"

    Brooks DraughnBrooks DraughnPirms 8 Mēnešiem
  • I like this guy.

    Bus12103Bus12103Pirms 8 Mēnešiem
  • Enable to drive a bimmer Must be mechanic If not just sell it

    james the handsomejames the handsomePirms 8 Mēnešiem
  • 13:19 "it's a BMW" i lost it right there

    nikolas olivernikolas oliverPirms 8 Mēnešiem
  • BMW, Junk.

    sdnalyamsdnalyamPirms 8 Mēnešiem
  • Hi there, just wondering where is your mechanic from he sounds eastern European

    A&K Air Technologies Kris KanevA&K Air Technologies Kris KanevPirms 8 Mēnešiem
  • Never ever call an alpina an bmw bc its not! It's not a factory tuning brand or something like AMG. Alpina is a car brand with his own logo etc...

    Dutch84Dutch84Pirms 8 Mēnešiem
  • What? No wizard???

    JK LJK LPirms 8 Mēnešiem
  • Where is his shop at.

    Demetrius HebronDemetrius HebronPirms 8 Mēnešiem
  • $2400 FOR ALL THAT WORK? Total of $5041 for EVERYTHING? HOLY COW! And you will get another 150k miles out of it! That is Hella CHEAP Compared to what I got quoted for similar work on my 330 in San Diego!!!!

    William BurdineWilliam BurdinePirms 8 Mēnešiem
  • 2nd hand BMWs are shit

    Amjid AliAmjid AliPirms 8 Mēnešiem
  • wow didn't know bmws could be that bad. I've had a e39 for 4 years, it was pretty good

    Witold SchwenkeWitold SchwenkePirms 8 Mēnešiem
  • >$110k to $3,500. Just think how much work $110k could do over the same time period versus flushing it down the toilet.

    jkirk1626jkirk1626Pirms 8 Mēnešiem
  • sorry if I'm late to the party, but watching your vids, the 1st question that keeps popping up is, what r these cars service history? i find it hard 2 believe that companies like mb,bmw, audi, and even rolls royce, would make cars that can barely last 5yrs. I've heard that the early 20's cars were sketchy, but it's actually a shock if these r the norms rather than the exception.

    sunnysunnyPirms 8 Mēnešiem
  • Most expensive car in the word? Cheap BMW

    Savage StashSavage StashPirms 8 Mēnešiem
    • US built....."BMW".

      MacMacPirms 8 Mēnešiem
  • acually, the expense to fix this BMW is pretty cheap compare to the BMW dealer.

    Hieu DaicaHieu DaicaPirms 8 Mēnešiem
  • How does someone spend 120k on a car knowing it will lose almost 100% of its value in 13 years?

    electricamir248electricamir248Pirms 9 Mēnešiem
  • In difference to BMW M, Audi RS or Mercedes AMG, when you look into an Alpina's paperwork it'll say "Alpina", not BMW. Plus, at least over here in germany, they don't run BMW badges.

    Max S.Max S.Pirms 9 Mēnešiem
  • Tyler: How many of these valve seals have you done on BMWs? Johnny: yes

    Tiago AlvesTiago AlvesPirms 9 Mēnešiem
    • What brand and grade of engine oil did the owner or previous mechanic use? And at what intervals? Johnny....Yes! Why are the valve guides worn? Johnny....yes,

      MacMacPirms 8 Mēnešiem
  • good price, BMW wanted 5000 euros to change out the gearbox on my 535v8 after the reverse failed. in the end i didnt pay that price but still it was alot that i did pay

    Gavin MGavin MPirms 9 Mēnešiem
  • Get it all fixed.

    Wade MullisWade MullisPirms 9 Mēnešiem
  • Bmw stands for Broken Worthless Machine

    FunFunPirms 9 Mēnešiem
  • BMW = Bust My Wallet .... I know they perform well but I've heard too many horror stories. They are for yuppies who lease them then turn them in when the warrantee ends and get a new one. Apparently there are still suckers out there who think they need a used BMW so these leased vehicles get a second life but an expensive one. They become money pits.

    nrichnrichPirms 9 Mēnešiem
  • If that B7 would have been for sale near me (As is), I would have bought it in a flash!! But then I know what I am doing and I am an experienced vehicle technician that has worked on plenty of BMW's right back to the early 90's! Keeping my eye's peeled!

    BMW WizardBMW WizardPirms 9 Mēnešiem
  • You have to make a another video showing the progression or digression of this car.

    C DDC DDPirms 9 Mēnešiem
  • Are you trying to get broke??? 🤪🤪🤪🍌

    Hamdi TunisienHamdi TunisienPirms 9 Mēnešiem
  • Eventually when you are done playing with junk, step into a Mercedes.😼

    Cesar ToledoCesar ToledoPirms 9 Mēnešiem
  • The worst cars I've owned were BMW's. All of them end up with the same problems. Unreliable garbage.

    B HudenkovB HudenkovPirms 9 Mēnešiem
  • I spend so much time watching hoovies garage I will never fix my car,

  • German engineering = shitty engineering. Das Auto

    Y LEEY LEEPirms 9 Mēnešiem
  • "I buy an old BMW with a bad life and wich didnt see maintance the last ten years. Than I wonder that is a shithole with a bucket full of problems!" 🤦‍♂️🙈🙄

    Bronko KuličkaBronko KuličkaPirms 9 Mēnešiem
  • Dude ls1 the shit out that 7

    Jr BoostJr BoostPirms 9 Mēnešiem
  • You said there’s only 800 of these B7’s the man & stop complaining that’s a very fair price

    Medi HedayatiMedi HedayatiPirms 9 Mēnešiem
  • You mean it gives you the experience of a smaller car...AFTER you get it out of the shop. The Wizard spends more time in your cars than you do!

    Orcinus1967Orcinus1967Pirms 9 Mēnešiem
  • Take a shot every time this guy says Alpina

    Vasil BraskovVasil BraskovPirms 9 Mēnešiem
  • BMW = Big Money Waste

    Chris WojtkiewiczChris WojtkiewiczPirms 9 Mēnešiem
  • “Yes yes I know your broken” 😂😂

    Rob 351Rob 351Pirms 9 Mēnešiem
  • Gay much?

    rollmeisterrollmeisterPirms 9 Mēnešiem
  • the magic with buying a bmw v8 is the milage , in germany you find 2 versions of it many with 120tkm (75tmls) these are mostly unrepaird with these type of problems or you get these with 250tkm (155tmls) tey are mostly repaird or even worse fuckt up , hoovie you realy have bad friends XD

    Maximilian JankowskiMaximilian JankowskiPirms 9 Mēnešiem
  • That's cheap repairs, bloody good value for the amount of work involved and European parts, in Australia I reckon it wouldn't get much change for $10000

    Hamish FullertonHamish FullertonPirms 9 Mēnešiem
  • If i ever saw a car worth saving...its this Alpina. 10g all sorted...that is a lot of car for that money...

    Darren AMDarren AMPirms 9 Mēnešiem
  • Break My Wallet

    southothehighwaysouthothehighwayPirms 9 Mēnešiem
  • When are you going to fix your BMW

    Cameron EllisCameron EllisPirms 9 Mēnešiem
  • I think we’re learned not to buy an old bmw

    The AnthonysThe AnthonysPirms 9 Mēnešiem
  • So he tore apart the dash for a fuse? Yeah, I'd keep going back to him too. SMH.

    roof pizzaroof pizzaPirms 9 Mēnešiem
  • Do you have a bet with someone as to how many videos in a row you will say "Binging and Bonging??? Because it's been a loooooooong time.

    paulgpaulgPirms 10 Mēnešiem
  • BMW is still in its low quality spurr. Not buying one at all ever until proven otherwise again. subframe issues, HPFP issues, valve stem seals issue, transmission issue. Just trash shit not meant to be owned outside of a lease

    d1zguyd1zguyPirms 10 Mēnešiem
  • Wheres the wizard

    Jeff EngJeff EngPirms 10 Mēnešiem
  • I'm waiting for Hoovie to buy a car where he says I never wanted one of these.

    D PalmerD PalmerPirms 10 Mēnešiem
  • Alpina B7 or " When an RX8 looks like a good investment".

    eivis13eivis13Pirms 10 Mēnešiem
  • You were selling Mercedes 13 years ago and now you are wealthy enough to own enough cars to fill up a Walmart car park. How does that work? Oh ya, all those annoying adds on your videos.

    Werner DanlerWerner DanlerPirms 10 Mēnešiem
  • Theres a reason why you dont see too many 2000s 7 series on the road much anymore...they are either in the scrap yard or parked broken af in the driveway (like my 08 750li).

    ziggamonziggamonPirms 10 Mēnešiem
  • if only i could go 3x speed it'd improve your vids

    Adam EldridgeAdam EldridgePirms 10 Mēnešiem

    General HiPingGeneral HiPingPirms 10 Mēnešiem
  • Are endorsements and ads paying for all these money pits??

    Big Sky 1991Big Sky 1991Pirms 10 Mēnešiem
  • Great channel. I didn't know Jeff Goldbloom was into cars.

    Dave GreeDave GreePirms 10 Mēnešiem
  • @1:25 BMW has built the M760li.

    Balasubramanian NaBalasubramanian NaPirms 10 Mēnešiem
  • you got a 2002? !!!!

    Samuel KuruvillaSamuel KuruvillaPirms 10 Mēnešiem
  • I want more of the B7.

    NvableNvablePirms 10 Mēnešiem
  • Hoovie i love this channel!! I believe alot of people dont know u have a hustle with your other businesses that fund these hoopties i love it man keep it up bro!!!

    Money mike Slick willMoney mike Slick willPirms 10 Mēnešiem
  • BMWs are a total waste of money unless you have BIG MONEY,$5000 repair bill and it's just gonna happen again,WOW...

  • my old e61 545i did the same thing with the valve stem seals, love this car and the show! :D

    TomSingletonRacingTomSingletonRacingPirms 10 Mēnešiem
  • why not get something like a rwd g37 of 12-13? Too little drama?

    Pavel KPavel KPirms 10 Mēnešiem
  • please stop buying cars that need help for views it’s getting old... like you can obvs afford it

    EllenEllenPirms 10 Mēnešiem
  • Hoovie, what’s wrong with your 760?

    TxGMguy82TxGMguy82Pirms 10 Mēnešiem
  • A car has only two kinds of parts,moving and non moving. Seems like your non moving parts are in great condition,a real beauty. "This turned out to be a really bad investments", hahaha, bad investments is how this channel exists.

    johnmichael karmajohnmichael karmaPirms 10 Mēnešiem
  • I must have missed something. Do you not use the car wizard anymore ??

    Jonathan JJonathan JPirms 10 Mēnešiem
  • *!*!*!*!* Yo Ty Man *!*!*!*!* before you spend a whole lotta coin check this bro , did you say B7 Alpina No Reserve: 2014 BMW Alpina B7 xDrive 37k Miles Shown Twin-Turbocharged 4.4L V8 8-Speed Automatic Transmission xDrive All-Wheel Drive Jet Black over Black Nappa Leather Alpina Bodywork + etc + etc +

    Daniel KremerDaniel KremerPirms 10 Mēnešiem
  • you still going to the chinese restaurant by you, dunsky?

    Tony WellingtonTony WellingtonPirms 10 Mēnešiem
  • Watta shit car.

    Will E.Will E.Pirms 10 Mēnešiem
  • I know how to solve that problem I would put all Japanese parts on the for that price

    Marvin BenjaminMarvin BenjaminPirms 10 Mēnešiem
  • “It’s a BMW.” Truer words have never been spoken.

    Aaron GarciaAaron GarciaPirms 10 Mēnešiem
    • But they still keep selling and selling and selling,WOW..

  • One reason Lexus was invented.

    German BoyGerman BoyPirms 10 Mēnešiem
  • missing my old greymarket 81 323i Alpina...loved that car

    Camp KeeferCamp KeeferPirms 10 Mēnešiem
  • Only $5000? Somehow I feel like Johnny gave him a price break, probably to drum up business for he garage.

    frankiecrockerfrankiecrockerPirms 10 Mēnešiem